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Unit 8. Humour



LISTENING WARM-UP
Match the halves to make jokes. Do you think they are funny?
Key.1b    2d    3a   4c 
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DEVELOP YOUR LISTENING SKILLS
Listening know-how LISTENING FOR SPECIFIC INFORMATION
Если вам необходимо заполнить пропуски в тексте, прежде всего, проанализируйте структуру предложения. Это поможет вам определить, к какой части речи относится пропущенное слово (существительное, глагол и т. д.).

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Look at the jokes in Exercise B. Guess what the punchlines are.

flag.jpgListen to these jokes. For each joke, write a word on the line to complete the punchline.
Key.1    bed
2    ground
3    silence
4    hole
5    Jungle
6    river
7    the hairdresser
8    rain
9    incorrectly
10  doughnut
 

1. What has a head and a foot but no arms?
    ________________________!

2. What's the hardest thing about skydiving?
    The ________________________!


3. Which word do you break when you say it?
    ________________________!

4. What gets bigger and bigger the more you take away from it?
    A ________________________!

5. What does Tarzan sing at Christmas?
    ________________________ Bells!

6. What has a mouth hut never talks, and always runs but never walks?
    ________________________!

7. Who do people always take their hats off to?
    ________________________!

8. What always falls without getting hurt?
    ________________________!

9. Which word is always pronounced incorrectly?
    The word '________________________'!

10.What has no beginning, no end and nothing in the middle?
    A ________________________!

Tapescript

1    What has a head and a foot but no arms? A bed.
2    What's the hardest thing about skydiving? The ground!
3    Which word do you break when you say it? Silence!
4    What gets bigger and bigger the more you take away from it? A hole!
5    What does Tarzan sing at Christmas? Jungle Bells!
6    What has a mouth but never talks, and always runs but never walks? A river!
7    Who do people always take their hats off to? The hairdresser!
8    What always falls without getting hurt? Rain!
9    Which word is always pronounced incorrectly? The word 'incorrectly'!
10  What has no beginning, no end and nothing in the midde? A doughnut!

flag.jpgListen to the first line of some more jokes. Write a word or short phrase in each gap in the first line.
1.  Why don't _______________ go swimming?
     Because they takе too lоng _______________!

2.  Which is the fastest: _______________ or heat?
     Heat, because you can _______________!
 
3.  Who was _______________ - Mr Bigger or his son?
     His son - he was a _______________!
 
4.  Does your shirt have _______________ in it?
     No!
     No? Then how do you _______________?

5.  Why did the _______________ turn red?
     Because they had _______________ in the middle of the street!
 
6.  What starts with a 'P', ends with an 'E' and has _______________ letters in it?
     The _______________!

7.  What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have _______________?
     The same _______________!

8.  What can a whole orange do that _______________ can never do?
     _______________!

Tapescript

Note:    the first time students listen they do not hear the punchline.
1    Why don't traffic lights go swimming? Because they take too long to change!
2    Which is the fastest: cold or heat? Heat, because you can catch a cold!
3    Who was bigger - Mr Bigger or his son ? His son - he was a little Bigger!
4    Does your shirt have holes in it? No! No? Then how do you put it on?
5    Why did the traffic lights turn red? Because they had to change in the middle of the street!
6    What starts with a V, ends with an '?' and has a million letters in it? The Post Office!
7    What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? The same middle name!
8    What can a whole orange do that half an orange can never do? Look round!
flag.jpgLook at the punchline of each joke in Exercise C. Try to predict what words or short phrases might complete the gaps. Then listen to the complete jokes and check your answers.
Key.1    traffic lights, to change
2    cold, catch a cold
3    bigger, little Bigger
4    holes, put it on
5    traffic lights, to change
6    a million, Post Office
7    in common, middle name
8    half an orange, Look round
 

Tapescript

Note:    the first time students listen they do not hear the punchline.
1    Why don't traffic lights go swimming? Because they take too long to change!
2    Which is the fastest: cold or heat? Heat, because you can catch a cold!
3    Who was bigger - Mr Bigger or his son ? His son - he was a little Bigger!
4    Does your shirt have holes in it? No! No? Then how do you put it on?
5    Why did the traffic lights turn red? Because they had to change in the middle of the street!
6    What starts with a V, ends with an '?' and has a million letters in it? The Post Office!
7    What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? The same middle name!
8    What can a whole orange do that half an orange can never do? Look round!



PRACTISE YOUR
LISTENING SKILLS

flag.jpgListen to a joke. What did Ben do wrong?
Key.He followed the railway tracks instead of animal tracks. 

Tapescript   
 
Female voice
Right, well, I heard this joke the other day, and, it's a bit silly, but it made me laugh, so, here goes. Well, there are three hunters in the mountains: Bill, Bob and Ben. And one day they meet up to see what they've caught. And Bill's caught a bear - a big brown bear. So Bob and Ben say 'How did you catch that?' and Bill says: 'I just followed the tracks, and I caught it' And then, of course, the bear escaped because these hunters weren't very clever. The next day, they meet up again. Bob's got a rabbit - a big, brown rabbit. So Bill and Ben say to him: 'How did you catch that?' and Bob says, 'Well, I just followed the tracks and I caught it'Then the rabbit escaped, because the hunters weren't very clever. The next day, they meet again. Ben is badly injured. He's got a huge cut on his head and he's bleeding a lot. Bill and Bob say to him: 'What happened to you?' and Ben says, 'Well, I saw this big duck, and I just followed the tracks like you did ... and I got hit by a train!'

flag.jpgListen to the joke again. Match each question with an answer. You will not use one of the answers.
Key.1f   2g   3c   4a   5e   6d 
8le
1    What does the speaker do?
2    What does Bill do?
3    What does the first animal do?    
4    What does Bob do?
5    What does Ben do?
6    What do all three hunters do?
a    Catch a rabbit.
b    Catch a duck.
с     Escape.
d    Follow tracks.
e    Get hurt.
f     Tell a joke.
g    Catch a bear.
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Tapescript    
Female voice
Right, well, I heard this joke the other day, and, it's a bit silly, but it made me laugh, so, here goes. Well, there are three hunters in the mountains: Bill, Bob and Ben. And one day they meet up to see what they've caught. And Bill's caught a bear - a big brown bear. So Bob and Ben say 'How did you catch that?' and Bill says: 'I just followed the tracks, and I caught it' And then, of course, the bear escaped because these hunters weren't very clever. The next day, they meet up again. Bob's got a rabbit - a big, brown rabbit. So Bill and Ben say to him: 'How did you catch that?' and Bob says, 'Well, I just followed the tracks and I caught it'Then the rabbit escaped, because the hunters weren't very clever. The next day, they meet again. Ben is badly injured. He's got a huge cut on his head and he's bleeding a lot. Bill and Bob say to him: 'What happened to you?' and Ben says, 'Well, I saw this big duck, and I just followed the tracks like you did ... and I got hit by a train!'
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As a class, discuss these questions.
Who's the funniest person you know? Why are they so funny?
Do you know any jokes? Can you tell them in English?


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