Unit 8. Humour
LISTENING WARM-UP
Match the halves to make jokes. Do you think they are funny?
Key.1b 2d 3a 4c
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DEVELOP YOUR LISTENING SKILLS
Listening know-how LISTENING FOR SPECIFIC INFORMATION
Если вам необходимо заполнить пропуски в тексте, прежде всего,проанализируйте структуру предложения. Это поможет вам определить, ккакой части речи относится пропущенное слово (существительное, глагол ит. д.).

Look at the jokes in Exercise B. Guess what the punchlines are.
![]() Key.1 bed 2 ground 3 silence 4 hole 5 Jungle 6 river 7 the hairdresser 8 rain 9 incorrectly 10 doughnut |
1. What has a head and a foot but no arms?
________________________!
2. What's the hardest thing about skydiving?
The ________________________!
3. Which word do you break when you say it?
________________________!
4. What gets bigger and bigger the more you take away from it?
A ________________________!
5. What does Tarzan sing at Christmas?
________________________ Bells!
6. What has a mouth hut never talks, and always runs but never walks?
________________________!
7. Who do people always take their hats off to?
________________________!
8. What always falls without getting hurt?
________________________!
9. Which word is always pronounced incorrectly?
The word '________________________'!
10.What has no beginning, no end and nothing in the middle?
A ________________________!
Tapescript
1 What has a head and a foot but no arms? A bed.
2 What's the hardest thing about skydiving? The ground!
3 Which word do you break when you say it? Silence!
4 What gets bigger and bigger the more you take away from it? A hole!
5 What does Tarzan sing at Christmas? Jungle Bells!
6 What has a mouth but never talks, and always runs but never walks? A river!
7 Who do people always take their hats off to? The hairdresser!
8 What always falls without getting hurt? Rain!
9 Which word is always pronounced incorrectly? The word 'incorrectly'!
10 What has no beginning, no end and nothing in the midde? A doughnut!
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Because they takе too lоng _______________!
2. Which is the fastest: _______________ or heat?
Heat, because you can _______________!
3. Who was _______________ - Mr Bigger or his son?
His son - he was a _______________!
4. Does your shirt have _______________ in it?
No!
No? Then how do you _______________?
5. Why did the _______________ turn red?
Because they had _______________ in the middle of the street!
6. What starts with a 'P', ends with an 'E' and has _______________ letters in it?
The _______________!
7. What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have _______________?
The same _______________!
8. What can a whole orange do that _______________ can never do?
_______________!
Tapescript
Note: the first time students listen they do not hear the punchline.
1 Why don't traffic lights go swimming? Because they take too long to change!
2 Which is the fastest: cold or heat? Heat, because you can catch a cold!
3 Who was bigger - Mr Bigger or his son ? His son - he was a little Bigger!
4 Does your shirt have holes in it? No! No? Then how do you put it on?
5 Why did the traffic lights turn red? Because they had to change in the middle of the street!
6 What starts with a V, ends with an '?' and has a million letters in it? The Post Office!
7 What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? The same middle name!
8 What can a whole orange do that half an orange can never do? Look round!
![]() Key.1 traffic lights, to change 2 cold, catch a cold 3 bigger, little Bigger 4 holes, put it on 5 traffic lights, to change 6 a million, Post Office 7 in common, middle name 8 half an orange, Look round |
Tapescript
Note: the first time students listen they do not hear the punchline.
1 Why don't traffic lights go swimming? Because they take too long to change!
2 Which is the fastest: cold or heat? Heat, because you can catch a cold!
3 Who was bigger - Mr Bigger or his son ? His son - he was a little Bigger!
4 Does your shirt have holes in it? No! No? Then how do you put it on?
5 Why did the traffic lights turn red? Because they had to change in the middle of the street!
6 What starts with a V, ends with an '?' and has a million letters in it? The Post Office!
7 What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? The same middle name!
8 What can a whole orange do that half an orange can never do? Look round!
PRACTISE YOUR LISTENING SKILLS
![]() Key.He followed the railway tracks instead of animal tracks. |
Tapescript
Female voice
Right, well, I heard this joke the other day, and, it's a bit silly, but it made me laugh, so, here goes. Well, there are three hunters in the mountains: Bill, Bob and Ben. And one day they meet up to see what they've caught. And Bill's caught a bear - a big brown bear. So Bob and Ben say 'How did you catch that?' and Bill says: 'I just followed the tracks, and I caught it' And then, of course, the bear escaped because these hunters weren't very clever. The next day, they meet up again. Bob's got a rabbit - a big, brown rabbit. So Bill and Ben say to him: 'How did you catch that?' and Bob says, 'Well, I just followed the tracks and I caught it'Then the rabbit escaped, because the hunters weren't very clever. The next day, they meet again. Ben is badly injured. He's got a huge cut on his head and he's bleeding a lot. Bill and Bob say to him: 'What happened to you?' and Ben says, 'Well, I saw this big duck, and I just followed the tracks like you did ... and I got hit by a train!'
![]() Key.1f 2g 3c 4a 5e 6d | 8le |
1 What does the speaker do? 2 What does Bill do? 3 What does the first animal do? 4 What does Bob do? 5 What does Ben do? 6 What do all three hunters do? | a Catch a rabbit. b Catch a duck. с Escape. d Follow tracks. e Get hurt. f Tell a joke. g Catch a bear. | ![]() |
Female voice
Right, well, I heard this joke the other day, and, it's a bit silly, but it made me laugh, so, here goes. Well, there are three hunters in the mountains: Bill, Bob and Ben. And one day they meet up to see what they've caught. And Bill's caught a bear - a big brown bear. So Bob and Ben say 'How did you catch that?' and Bill says: 'I just followed the tracks, and I caught it' And then, of course, the bear escaped because these hunters weren't very clever. The next day, they meet up again. Bob's got a rabbit - a big, brown rabbit. So Bill and Ben say to him: 'How did you catch that?' and Bob says, 'Well, I just followed the tracks and I caught it'Then the rabbit escaped, because the hunters weren't very clever. The next day, they meet again. Ben is badly injured. He's got a huge cut on his head and he's bleeding a lot. Bill and Bob say to him: 'What happened to you?' and Ben says, 'Well, I saw this big duck, and I just followed the tracks like you did ... and I got hit by a train!'

As a class, discuss these questions.
Who's the funniest person you know? Why are they so funny?
Do you know any jokes? Can you tell them in English?
![]() | Unit 7 Unit 8 Unit 9 | ![]() |